Hello Fellow Readers,
For this post I’ve decided to keep it light and funny. While talking to one of my main writing peeps, we discussed how horrible our old stories were. For me, it was the stories I wrote ages seven through ten. Mostly for memories and the thought I’d rewrite some of these later, I kept my childhood notebooks. It was then that an idea struck: what if I shared some lines from my childhood stories and let hilarity ensue?
Going through them took a few hours, but I pulled out some gems which I decided to post here. I totally encourage other writers to do this because not only will you get a good laugh, but you can see how far you’ve come as a writer.
These three quotes come from a story I wrote about Titanic and a character who was on the ship. I was about seven at the time and really fascinated by the tale. For a while, I didn’t believe it was real until my mother told me otherwise. I then proceeded to read every book about Titanic, fiction and nonfiction, until I decided I will write the greatest Titanic story of all time. Yeah…that didn’t work out so well.
Story: I keep shouting how many days are left.
Me in the Present: Why on Earth would you do this? Why are you shouting? How many days until what?
Story: I must be boring myself IF I want to stop writing so, bye. I’ll write later.
Me in the Present: The attitude is real. How do you end a diary entry like that? Are you boring yourself?
Story: The night was peaceful until a big shake shook the ship.
Me in the Present: A big shake? That is the best you got? The only pro is I nailed alliteration at age seven.
The next set of lines comes from an extremely short book about these people who get trapped on an island after a plane crash and have to survive. I was really into these shows as a kid and once again I thought I would write the greatest survival story ever. Well, I think you know where this is going.
“Wow, that’s great.”
“Hello, kissing me is the best one I got.”
“So Let’s do it again.”
They did it again and again.
Me in the Present: Look at you, little Megan. You wrote your first kissing scene. My only question is how does kissing yourself work? Is this kissing scene between two people or between someone and their arm?
“Are you alright?”
But he wasn’t because he threw up blood.
Me in the Present: The best part about this quote in my opinion is the fact that I added a sudden ominous narration to show that this guy was not alright.
This next line comes from a story about magic and evil overlords and kids who try to stop the evil overlords from starting a war. It was never finished and there are only thirteen chapters in the notebook, but that didn’t stop my hunt. Though the story is slightly better than the others, little Megan didn’t have the writing thing down pat just yet.
Story: Eyes are a really good way of seeing people.
Me in the Present: A+ observation, Megan. They definitely help.
Lastly, I bring to you my favorite lines. These come from a series of stories that I wrote about three children who are clever and solve mysteries. My younger self was really into them given all sequels I found, but what I lacked was how babies act and function and just babies in general.
Story: As the children worked, Rosey guarded the door. That is a very big job for a baby. Usually a baby is home being sung a lullaby as it goes to sleep, but not Rosey. She was an on the move baby.
Me in the Present: An on the move baby????? A baby guarding the door????? Was Rosey a ninja too? Forget this, I’m going to hide my face in shame.
Story: Clark grabbed his sister’s arm and pulled her behind the door. “Gabataba,” said Rosey.
Me in the Present: Gabataba. Gaba-freakin-taba?! -Proceeds to shout Gabataba at random to those in my life-
Anyways, as I try to recover from my humiliation as a writer, I hope you enjoyed this. Feel free to comment or make a post of your own horrible lines from the past.